The unmovable in me

Whatever I believe in is what comes back to me every single time. I believe I’m eternal, no matter what happens I’ll still be that soul I remember feeling pulsating through me as a child, one way or another.

Every time I look around, I notice life goes by before my very eyes and I’m still here, nothing to do, nowhere to be, plain, undiluted being. The trips, the jobs, the people, the scenery, the moments vary, bright, colorful, delicious sweet and sour, they leave me mostly grateful, sometimes not so appreciative but always amazed in retrospect.

It’s been a while since I last acknowledged how good life has been to me, never failed to bring me what I expected. It’s about time I truly took full responsibility for it all, my unexamined thoughts, my unconscious self-loathing, my egotistical, masochistic or just lazy resigning to fear, habit and contrast.

When you write, you get the rare chance to talk to yourself, realize what’s going on inside, what keeps the outside going, day in and out. I really don’t know how to answer those questions until I sometimes do, an epiphany takes over my conscious mind and it all becomes so clear. Nothing seems to matter, until it does. But for all the unexpected reasons. Everything is bathed in a brand new realization light.

Sweating over nothing

We can’t see through our little games, when we are caught up in the nitty-gritty of each moment. We always need to step back, lay low for a while, surrender, give up the struggle and the need for specific outcomes in order to learn once again how important it is to enjoy yourself, have pretty much fun and take it easy.

We are all making too much of everything, creating havoc out of petty troubles, arguing for our limitations, refusing to change, to put things into perspective. Not all our goals will be instantly met, first of all because we all have a lot of resistance due to either our addiction to past beliefs and habits or to other opposing and mutual exclusive goals that run against our supposed priorities.

It may sometimes take a lot of time and courage to unravel the mystery of our course of life, but eventually -though in retrospect- we can hardly deny the usefulness, the wise plan, even the inevitability of most things occurring. They were all either feared or longed for or not enough and few can be attributed to yet unknown reasons, still with certain, though few beneficial elements hidden deep within them.

Change and time

My aspirations tend to vary from time to time. For all their magnificence, they have not brought me an inch closer to happiness, however successful I might have been in achieving them.

Whenever I set out to become this or that, I seem to keep proving myself how I ’m not there yet, which is the very thing I struggle to overcome. No matter how hard I try to change my mind, to change my prejudice, my fears and hopes, they keep showing off their righteousness, convincing me I should have known better. All along, I rarely notice how self-fulfilling promises pile up, to make up the story of me experienced in real life, only to confirm who’s been writing the script all along. One cannot rise higher than their expectations and changing the way we see things is after all the only way to change things. How often have I said that but irresponsibly refused to accept its depth and meaning in my day-to-day experience?

How long does it take to see through this little game of ours? No time at all. Time’s just this excuse we made up that keeps us over here till we simply make a different choice and at the blink of an eye we then find ourselves over there. We need time to keep thinking the same thoughts we are addicted to, till we’ve had enough of them and willingly make the shift. Oh, why not change it all right now? Why not?

What life’s all about

What’s life all about, at least what’s in it for me? Let me see…
1) Enjoying nature, satisfying my basic needs with an extra scent or flavor, simple luxury, practical and beautiful, a little more sophisticated than necessary, with a colorful variety and intense toppings.
2) Playing, writing and listening to inspiring Music/ Ideas. Ideas that keep you going, that form your future and hold the essence to your being. Finding your theme song, having the courage to sing to others, dancing your way to work, walking down the street with music in your smile. Sunshine music, words of wisdom, rhyming feelings, musical thoughts.
3) Loving life, yourself and others, going within and making peace with all that is, being one with what you love, coaxing everything into existence, turning it all around to fit your world theory, cultivating love, watching it all flourish, before your bewildered eyes. Being capable of holding such love, such deep feelings of trust, peace, appreciation, contentment, enthusiasm, passion, powerful creativity, being utterly touched by and carried away with emotion and still remaining tranquil, humble and open enough to grasp the meaning of the universe at a glance.

What it all boils down to: Being happy, enjoying those little pleasures, keeping it simple and clear, making everything out of nothing and nothing out of everything…

What do you really want to get out of life?

I’ve been asking myself from time to time, what do I really want out of this, what’s the point of it all, how do I make it truly worthwhile for me… I often ponder this question but rarely give myself the time and space to actually answer it. This time’s different. I’m not going to remain satisfied with one of those rehearsed universal answers. I am going to answer this honestly and with all due respect, as though the course of my life depended on it. As a matter of fact it does. For without knowing where I am headed, how will I ever know whether I’ve reached my goals?

I always thought I needed the right answers, now I realize that living is all about asking the right questions over and over again and staying with those so important questions till my whole life becomes the answer to this riddle.

Being brave enough to accept the challenge and live within the mystery, not fraying away from that uncomfortable ignorance, not drawing a potent face over it to cover your fear. Give into my fears, accept my vulnerability and transcend my weaknesses into my greatest strengths…

How to become a writer

Write like nothing and no one can stop you… Turn your attention onto your work and off what others might think, say or do.

Quit the nonsense: all your self-worth issues, all your imagined writer’s blocks, all your doubting the value of your work, all your insecurity about their reviews, their comments, all your emphasis on the difficulties of becoming a published author, of getting into some best-selling list. This is all your ego at work, preventing you from actually doing the work you were meant to do.

How others feel about your work is none of your business. Your words might reach and help millions or just one person, even if that person is you! Just by discovering and expressing whatever lies within you and by trying to share it with as many people as you can, even if it’s just your friends, you will have already changed your world.

Publishing a book might be an act of reinforcing your ego by adding to your accomplishments, just as not publishing it and thus depriving the world of a great message (or of just great fun), in order to protect your ego and avoid the risk of ridicule.

Speak your truth and the truth shall set you free… You are talking to yourself anyway, there’s no one else out there, accept it and move on…

Become the writer of your life. Write about your life’s deepest message, paint it, play its’ music, dance to it, convey it through your words and deeds… First find your life’s purpose and live it to the full, enjoy it and then expand on it, transform it into something ever greater, all-encompassing that makes your life and all life a dream come true…

Freedom from within

Happiness is yours for the taking. It has been there all along. No one kept you so far away from it but your false identification with others, your ego-based fear of failure, of being laughed upon or rejected. So you condemned yourself to a life of mediocre pleasures, restraining yourself to such limited space that you could barely move or breathe.

It has been often said: We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Dare yourself to do something unusual today and see who’s got the keys to your chains. You’ll soon notice there’s no one holding you back but your own fear of life. Decide now to give it a try before this dance is through. Love yourself out of your mind-made prison cell, love each day and gracefully accept its gifts… See you downstream…

Meaning from within

Man’s search for meaning outside of himself has always been the noblest and the most vain quest of all. For being a human is all about creating and appointing our own meaning to all there is. We do it anyway at an unconscious level, it’s just that we seldom actually choose the meaning we give each item in our lives, so we tend to give things random labels, reproducing what we were taught. These are still our choices, however unaware we are of them.

Reinventing yourself shall be the easiest thing you’ve ever done. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll wonder how come no one else notices, how hard it is to pretend you are something you are not. Becoming your own person, becoming a self-actualized man or woman, freeing yourself from all the unnecessary struggle that comes with striving to fulfill your perceived obligations or to achieve adopted goals you never had a passion for…

The enemy within

We’ll rarely dare a glance at the truth: “We have met the enemy and he is us”. Such people are we, most uninspired grown-ups. Addicted to past thought patterns, condemned to a rehearsed life-less life. Settling for less, eager for more, willing for none. Stop being one of them. Awake to a new true life, find meaning in fulfillment and joy, break this chain of pain, dare to decide right now: I’m happy, I’m free, there’s nothing I cannot be or do or have, it’s all a matter of choice. Once you figure it out, join us. Life’s a joke, don’t let your thoughts trick you into believing you are something you are not. If you don’t want whatever you’re complaining about or criticizing, then you are not it. Stop acting and thinking like there’s no other way, change your habits, one by one, free yourself from making the same mistakes, as if you didn’t know better. Now we know too much and there’s no going back. Baby steps and we are out of our prison cell, heading to new territory…

Inner knowing

Knowing who you are. Greatest joy of all. Walking down the street with a sparkling glare. Remembering what you came here for. Without worrying about the outcome, no moaning, no difficulties to overcome. Pure, undiluted joy and peace.

I was born knowing. Even knew that I knew. But like everyone else I was taught out of it. Educating the masses to act in predictable ways, to conform, to imitate, to care for what everyone else thinks, to become what’s expected of you.

I knew there was more to life than what they’d been trying to sell me. I bought all their cheap lies and sold a few of my own. There’s no one to blame when the blind follow the blind. Though I knew all is well, that nothing could ever go wrong, that we keep pulling our own strings pretending we are not, somehow I forgot and started believing in the drama.

Now I know once more. I remember what I knew all along. There’s a story behind the story. The secret of all life. It’s what animates us all and it’s not the God of our religion. It’s the God of each person’s individual religion, each person’s Grand Unified Theory. The true story of my life, of who I am.